How my bag got lost in an Uber cab and was found 8km away under a tree! – Part 3

Quick Recap: I left my handbag in a Uber cab – By the time I got the driver’s number and called him, he said he had never seen anything like that. He claimed that some passenger would have stolen it! Tried a few other ways to coax the driver to give some details, but everthing was a deadend. I gave up hope and was heading home when my dad got a call from an unknown number…
The story continues 

The call was from the owner of the cab where I had my lost handbag. The driver had apparently given him my dad’s number. This was quite odd. The owner told me there was a way to track my phone. I could use the “Find my Device” feature on Android settings. He asked me to tell him the location too so that he could come over and help searching for it! I did as he told and I found the phone’s location – it was quite close to where we lived (but 8 kms away from where we originally lost it). My dad and I were convinced now there was something fishy in this. We wanted to go to the location and check, but we were also having doubts on what might happen if we do. Having watched many crime movies, this seemed like an easy opportunity for someone to ambush us (for what reason, I did not know!). But Dad and me decided to brave it out and headed to the location.

Now the location on “Find my device” was not exact. We had a street address but nothing more. I reached the location and saw a normal street with independent houses, PGs on both sides of the street.  There was one plot with construction going on. I had so many questions swooshing through my brain – who could have taken my bag? Did they put it over here? Was it a passenger? Do they live in one of these houses? How do I randomly go to a house and ring the bell and ask “Did you steal my bag”?. While I was thinking all this and searching by the road side, the owner of the cab came to the location too.

I told him I looked on the side of the streets and asked in the construction site and I could not find it anywhere. He offered to help and ran a couple of meters here and there and incredibly came back with my handbag in his hand. My beautiful teal and black handbag! Oh my god! I could not believe that he found it. I was just so ecstatic seeing my bag, and that my phone and my ID cards were all intact that I shooed away the instinct which said “this guy must have hidden it here in the first place”! So even though I felt there was some cash missing from my wallet, the exhilaration of being reunited with my handbag made me give the cab owner 500Rs as a “thank you” amount.

There were a couple of people who were watching from their houses and they came over to us while all this was happening. One of the men said he had just been to the police station to complain about this handbag since it was unattended for a while and the phone inside kept ringing. I was happy the police did not investigate and I could just walk away from there with my handbag and phone!

Once we went back home and discussed, we realised what might have happened. The driver must have stolen it and hoped it won’t be missed. When I started following up relentlessly and had the “power” to send manpower to search the car, he must have gotten intimidated and informed the cab owner. The cab owner did not want any trouble and hatched a plan to give it back to me, without it seeming like he took it. They threw the bag under a tree and then called me to check the location of the phone. Whatever their scam was, I was just super relieved to have found my bag – phone and ID cards intact ! Pheww

 

How my bag got lost in an Uber cab and was found 8km away under a tree! – Part 2

Quick Recap: I had left my handbag with my phone, Aadhaar, PAN, etc in a Uber cab. Had kept it behind the seats and forgotten about it. I somehow traced the driver’s number and called him but he claimed that he never saw my bag (it was a pretty big handbag)! The story continues….

The driver went on to say that it was his third ride after dropping me — in those 35-40 minutes since he dropped us, he had picked, dropped, picked, dropped and picked up passengers and he thought any one of those passengers could have taken my handbag. I found this pretty hard to believe! Why will someone who can afford to take an Uber, look back, see a handbag and promptly decide to steal it?  The driver even handed over the phone to the current passenger riding at the time, who I requested to check under the seat and behind for my bag. The passenger (who I thought was a little rude) could not find anything and said I should not be disturbing the driver during his ride and asked me to call him after 15 minutes.  The glimmer of hope was slowly fading away. Bye Bye PAN card, Bye Bye Phone and all those meaningless photos I took, Bye Bye the little bit of money I carried.

My optimism was fast dwindling, yet I did not want to give up. How can this bag disappear into thin air? My detective skills were waking up. I decided I had to see the cab with my own eyes to assure myself that my bag had indeed disappeared. After 15 minutes, I called the driver again. I begged him to finish his trip and then come back to where I had gotten dropped.  I told him I will pay him extra for his trip. He surprisingly agreed and I was confident that even if I don’t find my handbag in his cab, I could still get details of all the passengers who he dropped and get some leads.

So we waited with new hope. Within five minutes, the driver called back  and refused to come. He was scared that we will hand him over to the police and he said “I am a poor man with an old mother and a sister to be married off”(How cliched!). I tried to convince him that I was harmless but he refused.  I told him to give me passenger details so that I can check with them about my bag, and that was a dead-end too.

Meanwhile, Aunty Ka’s husband Uncle Sa had an office near where the driver said he was parked. So he asked his colleague to go and check out the vehicle. This colleague was ex-army and had an intimidating demeanor about him. We were hoping he would scare the driver into revealing something. Although the cab did turn out to be empty, the colleague told us that he looked really scared and might have actually stolen it, but did not get any other leads.

I finally decided it was time to give up hope. We were on our way back to our house when my father got a call from an unknown number on his phone.

To be continued..

How my bag got lost in an Uber cab and was found 8km away under a tree! – Part 1

This is a pretty old post –  written in October 2017 and for some reason never got published! But here goes – better late than never!

It all happened on one of the Navarathri days in 2017. Aunt Ka had invited us all for Navrathri Pooja at her house, which was some 12km/45 minutes away from where we lived. My father, my mother, my grandmother, me and my two daughters, all piled into the taxi to visit their house. As there was (obviously) a space constraint, I decided to keep my huge handbag at the back of the taxi (with the speakers for company). During the journey, My dad and I (along with my daughters) decided to get down five minutes earlier at Aunt La’s house, which was 500m away from Aunt Ka’s. Aunt La had four adorable doggies in her house and we wanted to play with them. When we reached Aunt La’s house, my younger daughter was sleeping in my arms and my elder daughter couldn’t stop talking because of her nervousness/excitement to be with four dogs. In this agitated state of handling a sleeping 4 year old and a talkative 7 year old, I completely forgot about my handbag. The taxi went on to drop my mother and grandmother at Aunt Ka’s house.

After around 25 minutes in Aunt La’s house, I suddenly remembered my handbag and searched everywhere for it. It had my phone (most importantly) and my PAN and Aadhaar card(God knows why I was carrying them around!), the girls’ water bottle and some 700Rs cash.  I realised (a little late!) that I must have left it in the taxi. I just prayed that my mum would have picked it up when she got down at Aunt Ka’s house. She did not have a phone so we all had to rush over to Aunt Ka’s house to confirm it. But ofcourse, as luck would have it, she was also pretty preoccupied with getting my aged grandmother out and escorting her inside without a wheelchair. She did not even notice my handbag at the back.

Now my heart sank! More than any sentiment, it was the hassle of losing a handbag that was overwhelming for me –  block all credit cards, apply for new credit cards, apply for new ID cards, file a police complaint, block sim, buy new phone, get new sim with same number, etc etc. I had to track and find my bag!

I first tried to call my own phone, but it just kept ringing. I then tried to call the number from which the uber guy had called, but it just went to Uber’s office and not the driver. I filed a complaint over the Uber app but was convinced that nothing was going to come out of it. As time went on, , I had no leads, no clue as to how I could ever find my handbag.

Within some time, my mom suddenly remembered that she had borrowed the driver’s phone to call my dad. She had wanted my dad to call up Aunt Ka and ask her to open their gate so that the car could go inside. Oh what a glimmer of hope! Thank god my mom forgot her phone back home. I finally had a lead! With some hope, I called the driver up and told him about my lost handbag. To my disappointment, the driver said that he never saw my bag. My big bag which I was sure could be easily visible through his rear-view mirror had disappeared off the face of the earth.

To be continued…

 

Ten things all second-time parents will agree with!

I visited my blog last week, after three years, and went on a nice nostalgic journey through all my posts. It felt amazing to read about my own experiences of being a new mom and the funny adventures of my (now) elder daughter who was just 2 years old at the time.

After that, life seems to have taken over completely and I stopped blogging! I suddenly realized that there are all these funny, nice posts written about Maarvi (previously known as Baby M) and there is absolutely no report of my younger daughter, Avani!

Quick Intro about Avani: She was born exactly three years and three days after Maarvi. Although quite clingy in her first 2 years, she has blossomed into this chilled out and focussed sweetheart.

The purpose of this post is to list out what happens to you when you become parents for the second time.

1. You don’t bother reading the BabyCentre Emails anymore. Who wants to know if there is a lemon or a melon inside your tummy, when your ‘outside’ child is doing enough and more to occupy your every waking hour. 
2. You don’t feel clueless anymore. When it is time for delivering your baby, you know it. You don’t ask yourself or anyone around – ‘Do you think THIS could be labor pain?’ Because you have been there and done that and you know it hurts like crazy!
3. Your older child will seem to have grown bigger overnight. I still remember how I felt Maarvi’s hands looked way bigger in the one day I didnt see her, right after Avani was born. 
4. As a corollary to the above, you always feel the older one is way older than what they actually are. You want them to be more capable, more responsible, more mature. Oh! The burden of being a first-born! The second borns have it easy. Somehow, you are able to forgive the second born’s mistakes much more easily. They can literally get away with anything.
5. You don’t have to leave everything just to entertain your second one (like you probably did with your first child). Because the second born learns to entertain itself on its own and eventually will find entertainment in their elder siblings. 
6. Your doctor visits come down drastically. You don’t worry about small colds and coughs, small fevers, small cuts ..Actually everything seems too small to worry about (Been there, done that syndrome). I remember how I rushed, in tears, to the doctor for a small cut that Maarvi got on her forehead. The doctor, for some reason, recommended expensive plastic surgery for that and she had to get anasthesia for those microstitches. Three years later, Avani had a similar cut. We just iced it and then left it to heal on its own. And it looks just fine.
7. You don’t need to spend time teaching the second-borns anything. Second borns don’t really have to be taught everything..The firstborns are more than willing to show off their knowledge and teach them things. Potty training – look at your sister, Eating food on their own – look at your sister, ABCs – ask your sister.. On the down side, they also teach them things you don’t want them to learn..but well, we gotta take the good with the bad.
8. Your life is so pre-occupied with your kids, that you sometimes forget important dates. I have to confess that sometimes I forget vaccination dates! Never happened in the first 3 years of Maarvi’s life. Unfortunately, there was an incident where Avani got the same vaccination twice, because I forgot I already got that done!
9. You don’t photograph every waking moment of the second child’s life. The number of photos and videos of the first child’s first couple of years is at least 10x that of the second one. You need to remind yourself constantly that you might be left with NO videos or photos of your younger one and some day – questions will be asked. Be prepared. 
10. You kiss and cuddle your second born much more. The youngest child gets a lot more kisses and snuggles, because you know that this innocent toothless smile, the baby words, the bald head, the whole cuteness thing is not going to repeat, atleast in my house.

I am sure you guys will have so many more additions to the above. Would love to hear your thoughts !!

Black and White

Isn’t it incredible that Indians are such racists? Well, maybe not so unbelievable since an entire country was convinced  that they are inferior just because of their skin color and were conquered for so long by the British .

And still there is a LOT that needs to change even now. I find it absolutely infuriating when I hear comments from our generation’s educated people about each other’s skin colour. And I find it especially painful when I see kids making fun of each other’s colors. While I was in Gurgaon, I overheard a 10 or 11 year old boy persistently bugging a slightly duskier girl (who was an American Citizen) about how come she is so dark when she is from the US. “Are you sure you are American? You look like an African..Hahaha “. The girl just rolled her eyes and said “You are such a racist!”. I mean, forget the fact that this boy has no clue about the hundred other ethnicities present in the US, but he was making fun of his friend because of her color. Ugh. The “credit” goes completely to the shallow parents who have shown this young boy that people are defined by their color and not any other “deeper” aspect. Children on their own will never pass judgement on anyone. They accept everyone equally with big hearts. The comments they hear at home mould them to be the kind of person they are.

I have seen that the north and south of India are equally color obsessed. While they look at a fair person in the south like some angel descended from heaven, the dark person in north is looked down upon  – “Why are you roaming around in the sun? Madrasi jaise lagoge”. Tamil movie industry is full of women from the north of India solely because of their skin color! There was a neighbour when we were in Haryana who was very “sympathetic” towards me because apparently my new born baby was dark. How can you judge a new born baby? India is strange – for a country with majority of the population with dark skin, people openly stare in awe at the white-skinned foreigners and openly heckle those with dark skin. Isn’t it pathetic that there have been so many cases of racist attacks of African students by Indians? What are we teaching our kids?

My own mother was brought up in a household where she was constantly taunted for being so dark esp since my grandmother was “fair”. She grew up using tubes and tubes of “Fair and Lovely” and still uses them religiously! And the constant criticism she faced makes her notice the “color” of a person before she looks at anything else. I have grown up hearing her describing people as “fair” or “dark”. Maybe that is why I am doubly sensitive about this topic !

It really irks me when anyone brings up color in their conversation. People feeling sorry for themselves because they are dark..People feeling proud of their “white” skin. What is in a color?? and What have you done to get your skin color ? It is something you are born with. How does that define you or change who you are as a person? And why give so much importance to it. Do you feel inferior if your nose has spots on it? Do you feel superior if your eyes have long lashes? Do you feel bad about your ears being pointy? Do you judge someone for having short nails? Then why the obsession with color and fairness creams and whitening lotions!

It is not easy to rise up above biases and even harder to bring up your child to be accepting of all. It has to be a conscious decision on your part to not comment on someone’s color / weight etc especially in front of your children. When you point out a dark lady and say “She is so black that you cant see her in the dark..Hahaha”  or when you point at some fair lady saying ” Wow look how fair that lady is! I wish I had that complexion”, you are saying that their color is of utmost importance and that being dark won’t cut it. There has to be a shift in the way you describe people. Once you control your temptation to make fun of others, you can see a visible change in how your child behaves with people of all colors and sizes. Because if your kids become  racists, it will be your fault.

What will Baby M become when she grows up?

It is funny how we keep looking for clues to see what profession my two year old daughter will choose so many years later. Being “cool” “new-age” parents, we don’t want her to become an engineer or something common like that..:D..So clinging to this silly hope we keep scouring for signs of her choosing a really cool profession. Here are some clues that we keep trying to infer 🙂

-> Baby M has always walked on her toes..She does that even now. AND her idea of dancing is to just turn round n round n round…so what is my baby going to be for sure ?? A Ballet Dancer , Yayy..

-> She also has an obsession with spotting aeroplanes in the sky ever since she could say the word aeroplane. She has this uncanny ability to spot them far, near, right, left, hidden, in full view..any damn place they are flying in. Many times, Me and Atul keep searching for the aeroplane that she has spotted, but she has never been wrong. ..So Atul is quite confident she could have a bright future as an Air Traffic Controller 🙂

-> An Actress  is also not a bad option my little drama queen. I have seen her go to the mirror when she is crying and checking out herself sobbing away. She can do a very filmi sob on cue too. I have also seen M practise in front of the mirror  saying “Sorry ! I won’t do it again” over and over again..LOL . I know now how the apology comes even before she finishes her mischievous doings 🙂

-> M also has a real keen sense of audio, sight and smell . We might be whispering something in a room and she will come out of nowhere and ask very pertinent questions about the discussed gossip 😉 ! lol .. She can also smell what someone has eaten from a mile away.. Anyone eats chocolates and goes within a mile of her has to face her interrogation ..”What did you eat?” “Is it Chocolate” “I also want Chocolate”. I have decided she will make a fine Detective.

-> Ofcourse one thing that we think M will become for sure is a Manager. She loves to give instructions to all of us..So much so that , she will tell Atul how to drive a car. Very confidently she will keep her hands in front of her like she is driving and say” Like this, Papa..and  Go left, Papa” . Or If I am cleaning something, she will immediately come up and point at areas which I have to clean!

–> If all else fails, M can aim to become the Prime Minister of India in the future or atleast a diplomat. She is very politically correct. Whenever asked to choose who is better amongst two individuals, she will think hard and then say “Both are good”. For e.g “M, who is better ,Mamma or Pappa?”, She will take her time thinking and then ask “If is say Mamma will Pappa cry” (or vice versa) , and then finally say “Both are good” 😀

So there it is..our deciphering of clues. We are trying to figure out more clues everyday ..so hopefully I will update this post if I decipher more cool professions

my 2013 Blog in review

 

I am hoping that posting SOMETHING will magically erase the bloggers block that I have going..They say the only way from the bottom is up…so Herez to a better 2014!!

 

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 3,900 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Love Marriage Vs the other boring kind

So I see that the debate continues. The promos on SONY tv for their new show Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage  (http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange) got me slightly rattled since arranged marriage seems to have gotten  the upper hand. The “arranged marriage” girl has the respect for her parents. She has the statistics to prove that love marriage is a farce.  Aarghhh..Let’s get it straight and not go into stereotypes. Its not true that the “love marriage” kinds don’t care for their parents and that the arranged marriage kinds are the respectful proper mummyji pappa-ji kinds.

Let me begin my “rebuttal”. I had a love marriage, the North-meets-South types, and yet my parents were happy about the match that I found. In fact, when I asked my mom if she felt bad that I selected my husband myself, she said “No. I am actually glad that you did. We were dreading the process of finding the “right” guy for you”. So if you are mature, think through about it and the families consent, then love marriages are the way to go. No disrespect meant to anyone. It just happened.

Another point that my humble opponent raised was that you know everything about the person you get married to with no surprises left. Trust me, even after 8 years of going out, getting married and living together was an entirely different package(and good ofcourse :D).  I do agree that arranged marriages have the nice “discover your partner” feel initially.. All those firsts, those new feelings, those palpitating hearts which the love marriage couple have already been through. But not to worry, there will be many exciting firsts for them too . After the initial honeymoon phase is over, the arranged marriages and love marriages look very very very similar.

And coming to divorce statistics, in most cases people in bad arranged marriages suffer because they think the families will be hurt, while people in love marriages have the courage to reverse their own decision. So booo to that!

The only “good” point about arranged marriages that I see is how both the families get along fabulously. (There are plenty of exceptions on this too I bet). But then in these days of nuclear families, how often does everyone in both families meet?  The immediate ones, in any case have adjusted to you and to your immediate family…the only barrier I see is the language one ..remove that and both parties will be partying together everyday !haha

Mommy’s Pet Or Daddy’s Angel?

You know the question “Who do you love more – Mommy or Daddy” which was asked when you were a kid? I never liked it much back then and I still get annoyed when I see people pit the Mom and Dad against each other!

But some of the competitive spirit has started to rub off on me these day grr.Thanks To Atul ! I never used to get annoyed before when baby M stopped crying when she went to someone else, or if she became happier to see Atul. It is good that they like others too right? And the times when she did come to me and stop crying or when she misses me and cries for me, I used to find it adorable seeing Atul’s sad puppy face. I mean it was funny that Atul felt so hurt if she “liked me better” (if u want to call it that)! I had always been “secure” in the knowledge that she has no choice but to love me u know..I Mean, She was living inside me…I am the MOTHER..I spend all my time (almost:)) taking care of her. How can she possibly not like me?! 😛

But off late I have this urge to start running this race. Especially after seeing Atul gloat every time she DOES go to him happily! So sorry Atty boy, now I have become a serious contender to win the “I like Mommy Better” title. What makes this competition worse is Baby Girl Apparel! All of them proclaim “Daddy’s Sweetheart”, or “Daddy’s Little Darling” Or “Daddy’s whatever” with Mommy nowhere in the picture.

Sigh..I am bound to get slightly combative don’t you think? So nowadays when Atul is not able to control her crying at times and she becomes all cozy and quiet after coming to me, I blush on the inside with this misplaced sense of vanity. And when she jumps to her dad when he comes home and refuses to come to me, I have started feeling pangs of jealousy. I now console myself thinking that when she is hungry, sleepy, troubled etc etc only I can calm her down..She can go for her play time to Papa, but in times of real needs, she comes to Mamma 😀

Muhahahhaha  So, Game On Baby M’s Daddy? 😉

Dangerous rhymes

Now that am singing rhymes once again, I have started wondering why all these rhymes are so negative in nature not to mention the surprisingly common sad endings! It is actually ridiculous how many rhymes I could come up with  all of which suit this whole tragic ending business —

Let’s start with Rock a bye baby – So a baby is blissfully rocking in its cradle on a goddamn tree for some reason and then a wind blows and the bough breaks and the baby falls along with its cradle! Ouch..the poor little baby..and the careless parents who “rock” their babies on trees..tch tch..hmm but seriously this is a LULLABY you sing for the babies?!

Jack and Jill is not that far behind. A simple, menial task like fetching a pail of water brings about a series of unfortunate events. You have Jack falling down and breaking  his crown and Jill who doesn’t like to be left alone comes tumbling down after him. The poor souls..

Then you have Mr.Humpty Dumpty who sat on a wall quite nonchalantly not having a clue as to whats going to happen next…..but as luck would have it he has a great fall.. And obviously there is no Happy ending here either ..cause a lot of people tried but in the end they “Couldn’t put Humpty together again”

Next on the list we have the “Three blind mice Seee how they run“. Not only are they physically handicapped (Blind!) but then their tails are mercilessly cut off by the farmer’s wife for no real fault of theirs. Could they have known who they were running after since they were already blind? What Cruelty I say! And why are children subjected to such torturous rhymes ? grr..

Oh and check this gruesome one out

“Piggy on the Railway Picking up stones;
Down came an engine, And broke Piggy’s bones.

‘Ah !’ said Piggy, “That’s not fair,”

“Oh !” said the engine driver, “I don’t care !”

I mean, seriously what is that about?! Why do kids have to know about these hit-and-run accidents and unapologetic drivers anyhow? hmmph.. sniff.. Sad Ending Again? Hell Yes! the poor little pigggyy..

Okay let’s continue on this quest – listen to this one about poor little ducks getting lost one by one ..

Five little ducks Went out one day,
Over the hills, And far away.
Mother duck said, “Quack, quack, quack.”
But only four little ducks Came back, back, back”

And it goes on till all the ducks are lost!!

Come on, Lost Ducks, Dead Pigs, Fallen Babies/Jacks, Blind Mice having to deal with more cruelty — Where are the happy endings???

Oh and here is the kicker – Although this one doesn’t sound as menacing as the others,  its “meaning” is tragic enough. Our very own

“Ringa Ringa Roses, Pocket full of Poises..Hushaaaa Bushaa ..WE all fall down”. It is supposed to be about how children all died  (All fell Down!) during the plague.Woah.. and yeah Husha bushaa (ahem that’s how I remember it)..is actually “ashes ashes” or whatever..Ugh That Is Ghastly!! Why can’t all rhymes be all twinkling and “starring”???!

Gosh you know what? I am feeling depressed after doing this exercise..my childhood suddenly seems violated ! I am glad that children lack the judgement to analyse the rhymes they sing .. Haha

Hmmm but maybe they were all so sombre to teach kids a lesson ..to serve as a warning or whatever…

So children what have we learnt today?

“Don’t sit on walls..or u’ll fall”

“Don’t pick up stuff from railway lines..you’ll be run over”

“Don’t hang cradles from trees, and don’t put babies in them!?”

“Don’t wander away from your mommy”

“Don’t go up hills with girls to fetch water ?!?”

Very Good Children..Next Lesson Tomorrow 🙂

Can anyone think of more of these sad ending rhymes?? Will be interesting!!

😀 😀 😀