So I see that the debate continues. The promos on SONY tv for their new show Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage (http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange) got me slightly rattled since arranged marriage seems to have gotten the upper hand. The “arranged marriage” girl has the respect for her parents. She has the statistics to prove that love marriage is a farce. Aarghhh..Let’s get it straight and not go into stereotypes. Its not true that the “love marriage” kinds don’t care for their parents and that the arranged marriage kinds are the respectful proper mummyji pappa-ji kinds.
Let me begin my “rebuttal”. I had a love marriage, the North-meets-South types, and yet my parents were happy about the match that I found. In fact, when I asked my mom if she felt bad that I selected my husband myself, she said “No. I am actually glad that you did. We were dreading the process of finding the “right” guy for you”. So if you are mature, think through about it and the families consent, then love marriages are the way to go. No disrespect meant to anyone. It just happened.
Another point that my humble opponent raised was that you know everything about the person you get married to with no surprises left. Trust me, even after 8 years of going out, getting married and living together was an entirely different package(and good ofcourse :D). I do agree that arranged marriages have the nice “discover your partner” feel initially.. All those firsts, those new feelings, those palpitating hearts which the love marriage couple have already been through. But not to worry, there will be many exciting firsts for them too . After the initial honeymoon phase is over, the arranged marriages and love marriages look very very very similar.
And coming to divorce statistics, in most cases people in bad arranged marriages suffer because they think the families will be hurt, while people in love marriages have the courage to reverse their own decision. So booo to that!
The only “good” point about arranged marriages that I see is how both the families get along fabulously. (There are plenty of exceptions on this too I bet). But then in these days of nuclear families, how often does everyone in both families meet? The immediate ones, in any case have adjusted to you and to your immediate family…the only barrier I see is the language one ..remove that and both parties will be partying together everyday !haha