Free Falling Markets - Valuable Tips Part 1 July 4, 2008

Okay so you might think “What makes her soo darn qualified to give stock tips?” Well, Haha, I am certainly not qualified to tell you how to make money. Rather, I shall deal with the finer things in life — How NOT to wipe out you entire life’s savings As I have learnt and rightly, the word “experienced” in the stock market is associated with someone who encounters very heavy losses. I think you’d know by this time how “experienced” I am in that field!

But then, enroute to these catastrophic losses, you learn some very valuable lessons so here I am blogging and giving you the gyan

Lesson #1 : Don’t be impatient - Oh and how many times have I done this!! When the elders say, “Patience” is a virtue, Listen to them..Refreshing your demat site some 20 times every 2 minutes is not going to get you the price you want. So stay away after giving your buy order for the day.
It’s like, you give a buy order for say, some share for 196 Rs..And then you see, inspite of your refreshing it a million times, its just not coming to 196..on the other hand, its actually hovering around 198-200.You Immediately change the order to 198 and trust me 95% of the time, the next minute would see the share price fall to some 194 and you’re like.. DARN!! So just go with your initial gut feeling which told you that it will come to 196..if not today then tommorow so dont be hasty.
Lessons #2 : Don’t be greedy : Sigh..yes many a finger has been burnt by being greedy. Its good to have high expectations from your stock but have a limit to your expectations. Don’t wait for an indecently exorbitant profit. Keep a limit of say 20%..and SELL it when it reaches your limit.

My story goes like this..I bought some shares of some company D (Am not revealing the real name of the stock just to keep the post a little mysterious ;)) , at 800 Rs and slowly with time D rose to around 1200.So what would you have done? just SOLD IT, Right? But nope..Greedy me just did not allow it..Greedy Me thought” Hey if it can reach 1200 it can reach 1500 too” ..But fairy tales seldom feature stock markets in them..and D crashed..to an all time low of around 400 and with very less probability of rising above 600 again.. You get the moral of the story right??

Lesson #3 : Don’t take “share” price tips seriously — Yes don’t listen to anybody because nobody can predict market sentiments accurately. Even if the person giving this free gyan is your uncle, brother, aunt, friend (unless that friend is from some reputed i-bank ;)) Never take it too seriously.Do your own research, make your own call about a company and THEN invest your money. I had the misfortune of taking my uncle seriously when he mentioned that some company, call it N ( Continuing with the mysterious touch) will touch 500 when it was around 463 (Ofcourse the same uncle now claims he could never have said that) but neways I bought N’s shares at 463 and then began the free fall..And for every 50Rs that it used to fall, I used to buy 50 more shares in the hope that SOMEDAY i’d offset the loss. So as of now I have some 300 shares of Company N at an average loss of 150 per share..Double yayy..

Also to be mentioned is how you should NOT go to say, moneycontrol.com , pick a Lucky share at random there, read 2-3 comments about how its the next big thing and how it will sky rocket in 2 weeks and end up buying it.Strict No-No..There are malicious evil people in this world, who will say promising things in the hope that the price WILL go up if enough dump people exist in the world who will read their comments and buy it :p..grrrrrrr…And unfortunately I was playing with “futures” (More on this when I come to lesson #4) when I picked this.So company S’s comments said that there will be a buy back of shares at a price  100 rs higher than what it was going at , in another 2 weeks,.But as MY luck would have it, it never went up..the idiots did the buy-back at a much lesser price!! And S is one of the more predominant contributor to my loss now..3 cheers for S..heepp heeepp hurray…ugh

so Yes I have done enough dumb things to last me a life time and No I still haven’t stopped trading !

Gosh, I have so many more things to warn people about,but some other time..soon..

To be continued….

Dasavatharam — Too many kamals spoil ….. June 27, 2008

Somehow, the thought that kept flashing in my mind when I was seeing Dasavatharam was
— “Too many Kamals Spoil the broth” and How!
I feel like Kamal Hassan decided on the movie’s name first and then decided that somehow he has to fit in 10 roles whether they make sense or not , zabardasti! I guess its my mistake going for it INSPITE of warnings from so many people that it was pretty pathetic.But you know how u can think “How Bad Could It Be!!” and land up going for these horrid horrid movies? So there I was in the sparsely populated theatre with my paavam “non-tamil” speaking husband (Atul) for his FIRST ever tamil film experience. I never thought the day would come when I would have to apologise for one of Kamal hassan’s movies..

I really think the movie wouldnt have been so bad IF Kamal hassan had had a LITTLE lesser amount of love for himself.He could have easily given 7 of those avatars to other people. The makeup looked so shoddy and so artificial. I mean It looked almost comical..these overly made up wax creatures (the normal wax dolls definitely look more human like than these!!) running on the roads, chasing each other, jumping up buildings, singing on stages..phew..I was scared the makeup will start cracking in places whenever there was a fire scene..Atul was guessing which characters were the Kamal avatars just by picking the funniest and most ODD looking character on the screen. and It was so true..The moment a comical weird looking creature popped up on screen, it would be YET another Kamal. I would say, the WORST looking creatures were Fletcher and the Grandma.Initially we were laughing at the way George Bush and the Japanese fellow looked. But after seeing Fletcher and Granma we decided to give the worst look award to them ..Fletcher,George Bush and Tall Kamal actually had one similarity ..they all looked like the Incredible Hulk..in white :D..Oh wait Tall Kamal also looked a bit like Frankenstein..or maybe that was intentional

Next going to the 55 crores he was supposed to have spent on this movie (a big chunk of which was used for the graphics ) and the 3 year effort it toook to do the “special” effects!!?? What special effects..??? Agreed that the Tsunami towards the end looked okay but the rest of the scenes looked really amateurish. It was way tooo obvious that compute graphics were being used..to potray that ship scenes, the scenes with water in it, and even the bike chase scene looked like a movie out of the late 70’s! And people din’t even Lip Sync properly in the movie..there was a CLEAR lag or watever when Asin was singing krishna songs ..and a pretty noticeable problem when Mallika Sherawat was trying to talk in Tamil..I am soooo disappointed by the technical faults in a 55 crore movie ,that I am pretty sure, Kamal has a palatial new house built somewhere in chennai

Now coming to some reviews which I read, which talked about how this is an “INTELLECTUAL” movie and not a masala movie . LOL…ROTFL.Okay Just because he mentions the word chaos theory in the movie , doesnt make it even a teensy bit of an intellectual movie.C’mon, What would you say the probability will be, of a bullet hitting a singer with throat cancer and whisking away his cancerous cells along with it so that ,not only does he LIVE but he can also now continue singing all his life???!!???!! LOL..I actually burst out laughing at the absurdity of it..ofcourse noone complained cuz there were hardly any people in the theatre!! Oh and the last scene with Fletcher dying in the tsunami but not before he was poked by an Indian Flag..lol..Why does patriotism come in here anyways? Govind, the protagonist was busy developing bio weapons for the US and came to India only in pursuit of that vial not for any patriotic reason! And what was being portrayed was how GOD overpowers science and all that…Ok whatever…He wanted to add Masala..so he did..I was also disappointed by the quality of jokes that a Kamal Hassan movie should have had.I was remembering Pancha Thantram, Thenali..Avvai Shanmugi..Pammal K Sambandam..Sigh..What riots these movies are..and In comparison here’s one of the most pathetic “jokes’ in the movie —- The last scene between Fletcher and that Japanese Kamal..

“Remember Hiroshima” asks American Kamal…

“Remember Pearl Harbour” says Japanese Kamal

too funnny re!!

To be fair to Kamal, I loved Balram Naidu..Absolutely adorable character and the only saving grace for the movie. I was looking forward to seeing more and more of Balram Naidu and his jokes..too cute

But other than that, there were just too many avatars of his, which dint make any sense ..What was that Vincent fellow doing there? What mannu mannu was he talking about? Oh and why did they have to bring in Shingen Narahashi? Must be to crack that Pearl Harbour Joke..and to Shout out “Tsunami” when he saw the tsunami ..cuz you know, only the japanese knew what the tsunami is..wink wink ..hehhe.. Patti Kamal looked a bit grotesque but was pretty cute in the scenes with Balram Naidu..Sardar Kamal was completely over dramatic..and who would pay to see an old sardar and his old (but still beautiful) wife dance on stage?? Eeks. George Bush Kamal looked comical..but nothing compared to that joke of a guy,Fletcher! The First story and the first kamal …other than the shockingly disgusting way in which Kamal was “tortured” in it, I have no averse feelings towards Mr.Nambi ..so I shall let that be..the Giant Kamal who was super imposed on the screen some of the time it was obvious because people looked like they are talking to the air and not to him…and who had no real role to play really other than helping My favourite Balram Naidu crack a few jokes at his expense.

I think that covers all the kamals, who existed JUST to satisfy his super sized ego.. Asin as the heroine was very irritating..She was constantly screeching and screaming. I wonder how Kamal could fall in love with her..even In the movie!! Mallika sherawat..her item number slightly bordered on vulgarity ..ok someone tell me Why did they get Fletcher and Mallika married neways ? Was that to get Fletcher an indian visa ? Ok forget it, this movie isnt worth analysing soo much : )..
Net Net ,
All I can say
To Atul is : Sorry for putting you through Dasavatharam but It was soo sweet that you sat through patiently ..
To all the other non-tamil speaking audience who were in the elevator with me and actually thought that the movie must have made much more sense to people who knew tamil — No It did not make sense to Me either..
and To GOD/Whoever it is that puts these ideas into Kamal’s head — Please GIVE me the comedyyyy Kamal Back…he was sooo good at it!

PS : Btw I am impressed with the way people have caught on to the whole “dasavatharam” concept and analysed it so much..Here’s a blog with the mapping between Vishnu’s 10 avatars and Kamal’s 10 avatars. Really interesting –>

http://sathyaphoenix.wordpress.com/2008/06/17/the-mapping-of-each-ten-roles-to-avatars-in-dasavatharam/

The New Bangalore International Airport June 10, 2008

The new Bangalore Airport opened on the 24th of May, and soon I was having nightmares about my next bangalore trip. How will I reach office ? or Rather WILL i reach office? Will I get a bus? OR Will I have to shell out HALF the airfare just to get to koramangala? Gosh..Life was soo much more blissful before this new airport opened up 40 km from the city! I used to peacefully catch the 8:50 Deccan which landed at 11:30 and I’d be in my office by 12..which isnt too bad! But this time around I had to take a 6:15 am flight, to take into account the 2.5 hours of travel from the airport to the city..not to mention the fact that I had to get up at an unearthly near-midnight hour (4:30 to be more precise!)..Sobb! The only consolation was I’d atleast get free breakfast on Jet Airways..yayy(luckily this flight was cheaper than Deccan). So I landed at around 8:45 am.It took us some 30 minutes just to get down from the flight, reach the baggage claim, get the baggage and head out. Anyways, I expected to see path-breaking architechture and creativity flowing in the new airport but was deeply disappointed.Its a rectangle, made of glass and shiny and glossy but thats about it.And to think, people were comparing this to the Dubai airport. But to be fair, I saw only the “domestic” arrivals area so hopefuly things get better elsewhere!

Continuing with my “Travel Saga”, There were signs pointing to where the bus stand is , so I followed that and reached the bus stand. There were conductors in white uniform standing there just to point out which bus to take depending on where you are going.Ofcourse ideally, they should have just made bigger versions of the route map which is being circulated everywheree, and displayed it prominently along with bus numbers. But what the hell, the airport started off only 10 days back so I shall cut some slack. It took the bus another 10 minutes to get full. The bus was one of those Vayu Vajras : Airconditioned Volvos with luggage berths in the front plying to and from the new airport.Not bad at all. It took us 1 hour to get to malleshwaram and the likes..and then almost another hour to cross the traffic and reach koramangala.So the bus started at around 9:30 and I was in my office at 11:20. ALmost 2 hours. Thats exactly the flight duration too! The buses have designated drop off points so I had to get down at the st johns hospital signal and take another minimum distance auto from there to reach my office near Maharaja. Not too inconvenient since I was travelling light. But I did notice, people with a lot more luggage struggle quite a bit to get down at the middle of the road esp near the indian express building and queens road etc. Anyhow net-net, It wasnt TOO bad an experience. Its obviously a much bigger discomfort for domestic passengers than having it on “old” airport road but well we cant do anything about that can we?

And now to give some fundaes about how to travel from/to the airport :

Option 1 : Take the MERU / EASY taxis from the airport. This costs a bomb though.800 bucks to koramangala! And they have phone numbers , which you can call if you want a pickup from your home to the airport

Option 2 : Take the bus. 150 bucks to Koramangala. From the airport, its a no-brainer taking these buses. But if you want to get to the airport, just check out the website www.viaworld.in

You can book your seats in the volvo and for 100 Rs more you can book a cab which will pick you up from the house and drop you at the Vayu Vajra pick up points

Option 3 : www.airliftonline.com : A very impressive company having a fleet of 32 innovas. Its a sorta share-taxi thingy where you pay 350 bucks to get to the airport from specific pick up points (Another 150 bucks if you want a pick up from home) .But its all hi-tech..GPS tracking system to track traffic ; Personalised tv screens for every seat to entertain you in those 2 hours ; a Luggage box on the top of the innova. Pretty neat idea!

Well these are the 3 options. I am sure more companies will soon start catering to the “I dont mind paying more than 150 but 800 is too expensive” category of people

Those 7 Months.. April 22, 2008

Yeah its been 7 months since I wrote my last post. That is probably the longest time I’ve gone without writing a word here ( even if it meant Starting a draft and never completing it) and WordPress has changed quite a bit. I like the new and improved dashboard which gives direct access to all your drafts and stuff Great Job with the look and feel as well…

Anyhow, not tooo many things happened in the last 7 months (sic!).

I made a month long trip to seee the world …

Other than that I got Married finallly to my sweetheart of 7 years…

PLUS I have shifted base from bangalore to kolkata …

Unfortunately, I Dont want to cram all the details of everything I’ve done in one post.So I shall prioritise and write another post shortly.

This one was just to remind ppl to come back to my blog..I miss this..

Cricket — That Unifying Factor In Our Lives :) :) :) September 30, 2007

Aah..Sighh…What A Feeeling..How the heart leaps with Joy when the Indian Cricket team actually win something! It is a such a rare occasion isnt it? People were getting tired of burning effigies and throwing stones at the players houses..;)..The Twenty 20 World Cup and Young INDIA has it in their pocket…Woaahhh…

This new version of cricket, Twenty20 , is reallly exciting and triply interesting..Full of Masala and a fultooo mass entertainer… ..With average RPOs of 7, people hitting 6 Sixes in an over and the concept of Bowl Out similar to Penalty shootouts, all give it the right concoction for the fast-food generation that we’ve got goin :)..I am actually wondering if I will be able to watch an ODI with 100 overs after this!!!

So anyways point was, A India-Pakistan cricket match makes everyone seem so sporting , cooperative , fun and sooo much nicer.Consider my previous feelings towards Auto drivers (Ranging from Seething Fury to Extreme Dissapointment in mankind), And Imagine Me going in an auto , talking amiably to the auto driver, Sharing scores (I was getting minute by minute commentary about Pakistan’s innings by ISD call from my parents and the Auto driver, whose name was Sriraju btw , had overheard the first conversation) , talking about the Potential of Rohit Sharma, Praising RP Singh’s prowess with the ball ..all with my New friend Mr.Sriraju (aka Auto Driver :)) .Oh and yes All this was interspersed with screams of Joy from both Me and Driver, when India took their first 2 wickets :)..After which I had to get down..sadly..Sigh..and to top it all He happened to be one of the “good” auto drivers (very very rare..like our victory;)) If only people were so sweet everyday..Everyone on the road seemed to be rushing home to watch the match and there were motorcyclists who stopped and asked my auto driver the score instead of directions :)..And earlier that day , the whole office (that would be the 10 of us i.e) were animatedly discussing cricket in the lunch room and everyone in the office stopped working at 5:30 sharp (that was actually a PlANNED thing) and gathered in our “conference” room to watch the match on tv..There was chips (Slurpp), there was beer and there was a whole lot of “betting” on what score India will make! See? There’s somethiing about cricket that makes auto drivers Friendly, managers angelic , bosses - a whole lot MORE fun and the whole world a very very rOsy place !

PS : I should mention though that the Amount of gifts and money these cricketers have been getting is not very amusing! And I should say I am glad the match was abandoned yesterday.I doubt after staying on “CLOUD NINE” for a whole week, these guys would be able to achieve an above 300 target..Plus I actually agree with the hockey players..Why should the STATE governments prefer cricket and reward ONLY cricketers? We cant stop the private companies from Showering gifts on them, but the government should have shown this much interest when we won the Asia Cup Too.And What about when Pankaj Advani won those World Championships and Vishwanathan Anand, who is actually chess no.1 in the world now and our football team too won the Nehru Cup..In true CHAK de INDIA style I heard ..Sigh .. Cruel Cruel World..One minute it seems rosy and immediately after, Unfairness is discovered..

Shantaram September 9, 2007

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts is my latest conquest(his BOOK i.e!) and a fantastic read All it took for me to finish it is a viral fever stint at home for 4 days :)..

Since the story can be found anywhere on the web ,am going with what I liked (or disliked) about the book..

My Favourite Character : My favourite character HAS to be Prabhakar.Someone who sees the world through rosy glassses and believes in the inherent goodness of everyone and someone whose smile is described as the widest possible.I even love the adorable way he speaks English.I think every paragraph with Prabhaker’s character in it was a real pleasure to read and it actually bought a Laugh to my lips!

Quotes :When they are about to board a general class compartment in the train (a first for our Australian dude Lin), Prabhaker arranges for a porter to literally carry the dude inside.Its just too hilarious.Prabhaker, before they climb onto the train, asks Lin to catch hold of the porter ’s shirt and tells

“Say it also Lin, Say it the words - I Will never Let it go the Shirts“

My LEAST favourite Character : It will have to be Karla.I sorta intuitively never liked her from the time she appeared in the book.Although the protagonist falls in love with her the first time he sees her.Karla seems like one of those people who just dont trust anyone, are sly and cover up their own lives to create some sort of weird mystery and use everyone who comes their way for their own selfish purposes.

My favourite part of the book : The Head of the slum, Qasim Ali, meting out justice. He says “Justice is not only the way of punishing those who do wrong, it is also the way of saving them“.The grace with which he reforms a wife beater and a drunkard is worth reading.The same wife beater becomes a better man and even goes on to the become the head of the slum after a few years. Another instance is when two men start quarelling over something.Qasim intervenes and gets them to tie a rope around 1 of their legs so that they work “together”. The couldnt walk without cooperating with each other..And thats how it worked.

Oh and I got one more.The bear and the bear keepers!! The bear appears the first time, sent by Abdullah to hug Lin (Since Lin  used the term “bear hug” once! LOL).The entire slum gathers to watch the bear, which seems so adorable and harmless ..Then it again makes an appearance towards the end where the slum dwellers and Lin dress the bear up like Ganapathi to save it from the police and parade it some 3-4 kms down the road on a vegetable cart! I could just imagine what an adventure that would have been!!

My LEAST favourite part of the book : I think it has to be the war in Afghanistan.It seemed to stretch forever..and did not seem to have any real purpose to me.

What Shocked Me : Arthur Road Jail and its conditions as described by the author.The author is arrested for no good reason and is tortured for months inside the jail without having a clue about WHY he is in there (Very “ZINDA”) Its disgusting that our police will act according the whims of just about anyone..

And definitely Madame Zhou, the famous and very powerful “pimp” — owner of the “Madame Zhou’s Palace” and the things she got people to do there..! Ughhh..

What Lightened My Mood : Apart from Prabhaker, it was the way Vikram pursued his love, Lettie relentlessly. Every time he appeared in the book, he was trying to woo Lettie.And finally he wins over her by proposing to her atop a moving train..very filmy and pretty entertaining! And Didier’s one liners kept the mood light too..
My favourite “philosophical” part : Philosophical discussions ..There were many of those in this book.It will surprise you how philosophical a smuggler, counterfeit money minter and a DON can be.Although I found most of the philosophical discussions between Lin and Abdur Rehman (the great Don) a tad stretchy,there was this one concept which sorta stuck to me.

“Doing the Wrong Things For the Right Reasons”..thats how the DON justified his actions in Afghanistan and at several other circumstances.And Lin realises, that in his life, even the right things were goaded by the wrong reasons! Even the wrong things you do for the “right” reasons are well, wrong and accepting the consequences is the best you can do.So although Lin has escaped from prison for doing whatever it was, his mind is never at rest.There is this one guy who kills another debauched guy from the slum who was mistreating his wife and sister.Lin is amazed at the peace and calmth he sees in his eyes even though he is in prison and he doesnt want any help to get out because he knows he did the Wrong thing, albeit for the right reasons….and this chews up Lin’s mind a lot more than before.

Some facts that I learnt :

1.AK 47 - Avtomat Kalashnikova..Never bothered to find out the full form for AK! :)..This rifle was the most influential and most widely manufactured.It could fire a 100 rounds per minute on Auto and 40 rounds per minute on semi-automatic,single shot mode.Oh and as a limitation,It caused a muzzle flash which was so bright that it sorta temporarily blinded the person firing it and gave away hiis position in the night.Plus sometimes, a round grew so hot in the chamber that it exploded in the user’s face! That was why so many guerilla fighters, held the gun away from their bodies or over their heads in battle operations.

Hmmm Interesting..now we can find more faults in “war” movies ;)..

2.Standing Babas — Also called as Khareshwaris are people who took a vow that they will never sit or lie down for 12 years.They drape themselves on a chest high swing, when they sleep with their legs hanging in the air! Its a form of self inflicted corporal punishment as a way of getting spiritual enlightenment.The first 5-10 years, the legs begin to swell and become bloated out of recognisable shape , resembling a tree with all its gnatted roots.After that, their legs become thinner and thinner till only the bones remain and a thin veneer skin appears to cover them.The author says it is a painful unending agony for the standing babas.If they do walk at all or stand (Instead of suspending themselves on a sling), they keep moving from one feet to other, swaying since the pain of the pressure on one leg is unbearable..Oh and they smoke a LOT of ganja..Understandable I guess!!!

Alrite, I have dissected the book enough..and I dont really think people who havent read it will get it..but I think I am happy with the way I’ve analysed the book hehe

8 things That Really Irk Me August 19, 2007

I have just realised how its easier for me to write cribby posts than talk about something I like..So along these lines here are my top 8 favourite things to hate :

I.Talking Chickens — Yeah sounds weird, but I hate those “food” ads with the talking chickens..Its ridiculous..One subway ad made the poor talking chicken say “Yaayyy..I am in such demand” ..Yeah rite, like thats what the last thoughts of the chicken will be when it is slaughtered..”Yayy..People are going to eat me..I am so tasty”!!! Ughh..just irritates me..And then there was the REALGOOD (or some brand like that) which had the chicken assuring people..”I am safe to eat” !! :))..gosh..If only the poor chicken knew what it was in for..

II.Dirty Politics — Pratibha Patil is our President.Do I need to say anything more to highlight why I hate dirty politics..Also how I felt about the Quotas (thank god we have a “higher” court of justice!).Its also this feel of total helplessness and not able to do a thing about it.Aarghhhh

III.Leeches — Nothing new there if you have read my earlier post.The nightmares continue..and any crawlingg slimy creature on the ground looks like a leech to me!! What Louuu huh?

IV.Dishonest Autodrivers — Ugghhh Arrghhh…Again nothing new if you have read my earlier post But then to circumvent the seething rage I’ll have to go through every other day, I have come up with 2 ways to beat the frustration I feel..

1. I have started storing the license plate numbers of all the “Bad” autos I come across in my mobile…Yup I have names in my contact list which goes like “Evil Auto 7225″ , “Bad Auto 8241″ and so on

2. Orrr since the probability of me getting onto the same auto more than once is pretty low, I get down when the meter touches 40 bucks..regardless of how far it is from my destination..Atleast I lose weight this way by walking a km or two

V.Traffic Jams — Ever since I shifted to a new office, a zillion traffic jams have been plaguing me. After a long day at work, I have to encounter not one, not two , not three, not even four, but FIVE jams at regular intervals.As if its not enough that I have to break my head thinking of ways to timepass on weekends, I now need to think of things to pass time for that 1 hour I am stuck in the traffic jam.I have even started writing down blog ideas on my Mobile or “business” ideas too

VI.Overhyped Books — OH gosh and therez nothing more over hyped than Harry Potter’s last book. Yes I accept that i USED to like J.K.Rowling and da cute hairy puttar of hers. But somewhere along the way, Hairy Puttar has lost the innocence and the child-like magical qualities that I had started adoring. It has become something much more morbid and haunting and NOT something for the kIDS..I mean images of dead bodies floating around in a lake haunts ME..I can imagine poor 9 year olds reading it..Rowling — STICK with the innocence please ..Its pretty rare to find these days!

Talking about “over hyped’, here’s another one who takes the prize for this category — Chetan Bhagat! His Five POint Someone was tolerable..Not really “realistic” and not worthy of all the acclaim it garnered, but still..tolerable! But I think One Night at the Call Center Was a BIG Joke.I think it was a clear shot at making fun of reader’s IQ level..and I pray with all my heart , that this guy doesnt come up with any more books..since hez clearly not improving with age!

VII Dumb Waiters — Oh gosh..This particular species really bug me.Its like, you go to a restaurant , tired of making all those life - changing, path breaking decisions (ahem..yeah..:)) and Dont want to look at a menu and DECIDE yet again.You ask the waiter “Can you suggest something good? ” ..He replies “Everything here is good Maam” !! Aaaaargh..”Everything..Good..really..Couldnt have guessed that..That made my job so much easier..you are SUCH a gift to this restaurant!!!” ..BaAAAAAAAARF! I could slap the guy then and there…The smart waiters are those who rightaway say “Sure Maam, The tandoor platter is good” or “the paneer butter masala is our speciality” or smthing like that..Make our lives easierr people..

VIII.Himesh Reshammiya – Something about this moron’s Irritating Arrogance, his irritating sullenness and that Irritating nasal voice really really realllllly Irritates me!

Well so that brings us to the end of this list.Clearly not the end of things that I hate..but its a start

Happy Rest Of THE Day everyonee..

My Long Hiatus And My Dubai Visit ! July 20, 2007

(I just realised how my last 2 posts have been out of frustration towards the inefficient, the dishonest and all the other morons.I think its time I grew up and Stopped living in my utopian world and face the reality that truly sucks….)

So anyhowwww coming to a lighter-brighter part of my life…Vacation!! I had taken a LOOONG vacation (3 weeks seems like an eternity when you are “working”) and went to Dubai and Riyadh.Add to all this, the day I was supposed to go on vacation, my company drops a “bomb” that they are closing down two of the 3 groups we have! Closingg!!! In other words, we were all being “fired”..but the saving grace was that the client company who some of us have been working with for 1.5 yrs now wanted to acquire our team.But the choice was given to us.Inspite of all this tension, the only thing that was constantly worrying me was whether I will be able to go on vacation..Was going after 3 years and I was super excited about meeting Orks & Pobz and visiting Doooppaaai.So thats how I decided not to care whether the company was falling down or rising up or going nowhere at all, and just went ahead with my vacation :D..

Oh and anyone looking for a vacation spot, Dubai is Definitely the best place to go!! I was absolutely smitten by the place.Its got this whole cosmopolitan feel to it, with all those glittering malls and their grandeur, the breathtaking skyline with those spectacular skyscrapers, sexy firangi girls in chintoo shorts running around (;)) and yet it has the “desi” feel too, because wherever you look there are Indians!!Although it was reallllly hot when I went (in June) , If you can arrange your own transportation, it wont be a problem.Everything is air conditioned..the taxis , the malls, the houses! (On the downside , Getting taxis are a bit of a problem now for some reason and yeah ahem there are quite a few traffic jams because of the Dubai Metro coming up and I thought that was Bangalore’s speciality) But shops are open till around 12 in the night and multiplexes,pubs, discs till 2 or 3.So we can always find ways to avoid traffic :D..One thing I really liked about Dubai was the mixture of races and nationalities that you see around.It was sorta very refreshing to see people of all continents together under one roof.

We spent the first day in Dubai with my mom at the Gold souk(yeah yeah, the gold is good and cheaper than india I guess)and Meena bazaar where you get all dress materials and stuff(which i think is a ripofff..Oh Converting everything to rupees is not a very good idea btw..I kept multiplying everything into 11 and did not have the heart to spend a penny!) In the night, went to a multiplex to catch Shrek 3.Sat in Starbucks till 12:00 (the showtime) and I had a really scrumptuous strawberry cheesecake there.slurppp..The theatre was pretty deserted..not like PVR where I need to book in “advance” like I am going on a train or smthing ! Hehe..And yeah there are no “intervals” for english movies there (Except India , I dont think they give intervals anywhere else).Sniff I dint know this and missed my popcorn..After the movie, Pobs drove me and orks around for a while, and showed me around the Sheikh Zayed road(pic above).Thats where all those extremely talll skyscrapers are and all the office buildings.It was such an awesome ride..All those huge shiny, glass buildings on both sides and Us in between.

So anyways on the second night we (With Orcie Pobi and Her colleagues from work) hit this club called Barasti in Le Meridian.Its actually set on the beach (Oh if you have seen the palm shaped island thingy , this hotel is on one of the leaves of that palm tree..pic above ) and had a very “movie” like ambience.It had the total firang feel to it..firang moojik, firang people crowding the floors and dancing the firang dance.In all this, I was sitting there and trying to find an ugly or even slightly obese female in that entire crowd and trust me, I came up only with one(excluding me that is) ! All the females looked like baywatch models.The clothes, their toned bodies and long legs! Sniff..I actually scared off a group of women sitting in front of us by staring at all their legs for too long..I couldnt believe “real” people can look like that.What happened to the high rates of obesity in the european and other countries??? So Not fairr..aargh..anyways even after a few drinks, our desi legs refused to move to the firang music.We so need the “bhangra” beats and our remixes to get us on the dance floor..So we got out of that by 2 and headed home.The next day we (Orcie and her friends from work) checked out this club called Oxygen or Nitro (Or it was called Nitro on some nights..whatever) but it was this total desi place with alll the great remixes.And finally normally shaped indian woman..What a relief to spot them hehe …I danced my headoff to bhangra and bollywood remixes for 3 hours or so continuously.I think theres something about Red Bull which makes me soooper hyper and I can JUMP nonstop for more than 3 hours! Oh but the highlight of the evening was when the security at the entrance asked to see my ID for age proof (yeah i needed to say that, lest someone thinks I look like a criminal!)..sniff..Atleast SOMEONE thinks I can possibly be less than 18..I could have kissed that burly security fellow for making my day ;)..At 2:30am or so, they closed down the place and very reluctantly I went out..sniff..i could have definitely jumped for 2 more hours :D..Headed back home after that and chatted away with orks till 4:30 in the morning! I was leaving the next day so dint have anything planned for that day..

Well those were the 2 “hap” places I visited while I was at Dubai..it was just a 4 day trip.Managed to watch 2 movies too in those 4 days!! One of the malls there which is worth seeing is the Ibn Batuta Mall.It is this humongouss “theme” mall.Divided into 6 different parts with 6 different country’s architechture.Pretty Cool Huh?? I didnt get to see all of it though..

Well thats about it..I missed the Mall Of Emirates which is the world’s 2nd largest shopping mall and you can walk for 6 hours and still not cover the whole of it.And yeah I would have liked to visit the “beach”..but it was pretty hot,so thats okay.And I couldnt visit the Burj Al Arab..The building which makes a lot of apperances in Hindi Movies…Ofcourse nothing seems good when the company isnt good and I got to meet my beshhtest friendz so I couldnt have asked for more.I hated leaving Dubai for the place it was, and parting from Orciee..The rest of my 3 weeks vacation was spent in Riyadh with my parents, doing absolutely nothing but eating and sleeping and a little bit of cooking.So that sums just about everything up doesnt it?

Does My Ideal World Exist? July 18, 2007

I am So seeething with rage right now.I just had a fight with YET another auto driver over a tampered meter.I am just too tired of all this.Tired of arguing and cursing Autodrivers that their auto will burn one day.Tired of haggling over my credit card statements and trying to figure out the complicated formula with which they calculate interest rates and late fees.

Why can’t auto drivers refrain from tampering their meters.Does honesty really hurt that bad?? Do they think that decieving people is any less shameful and any less a crime than “stealing” and thievery? Or Am I being too idealistic expecting people to earn money honestly.It is times like this when I wish I knew someone in the police, so that all my threats of “reporting to the police” can come marginally true!!

Yesterday I got my credit card statement and noticed “interest” calculation for around 1800Rs.Imagine if I have to pay this 1800 because I paid 400 Rs lesser for my last payment??? What kind of contorted formula doesnt care whether I pay 95% of the amount of 5% of the amount? Yup, thats how the biggest scam in India works.Late fee collections and such have actually touched a mind boggling 6000 Crores! So much is the amount that all the credit card companies are under the scanner now by the MRTPC. I can only feel helpless and terribly frustrated in this world where so much corruption exists.Maybe I shouldnt have been raised in this ‘ideal’ set of mind expecting others to show some sincerity and integrity.Yeah but seriously,What more can I expect in a country where the next president will probably be a woman who opened a bank in the name of poor women labourers and “
stole” all their hard earned money to loan it to her own family members? Any person of even a little bit of integrity and heart cannot do an act which robs the poor of all their money so that her family can have a bigger house!!! She is willing to protect and hide a criminal from the court of justice just because he shares a “surname” with her? It disgusts me even to tell anyone that Pratibha Patil will be our President.After so many great names of individuals with Integrity and Honour, like R Venkataraman and Abdul Kalam why are we stooping so low? What happened to the President being “politically” unbiased? Will I ever come across my ideal world where only honest people exist and Where everyone is not out to decieve everyone else..Where fairness exists and I dont have to “curse” people every single day of my life? Or Is “idealism” the bad quality that everyone looks down upon these days?

Dear Capt. Gopinath May 31, 2007

(For the uninitiated, Capt. Gopinath is the chairman of one of the “Best” airlines in our county..Air Dhakkan)
Dear Capt. Gopinath,

I am writing this letter here to vent out the feeelings I have for you, since I can’t seem to find your address anywhere on the net.Quite understandably though, all the fan mail that you get must be quite difficult to sift through.I am hereby informing you that I am suing you,your airlines,your customer care executives all for my Premature Aging.Yes, you heard it right. I am aging prematurely because of all the stress that your company has UNFAILINGLY given me, almost everytime I travel on it.I can account for each one of my prematurely grey hair.3 for the 3 times I have travelled on deccan and the 3 times I was so frustrated and pissed off that my hair turned grey! Its been a while since I last travelled on deccan, and I was beginning to hear a few good things here and there and fell into the trap. I thought ” Hey You never know..The Impossible could have happened. Air deccan could have actually gotten reliable”.So inspite of having to attend my cousin’s Mehendi function by 4:00pm tomm , I decided to take the risk and book a deccan flight.But then here I am, so pissed off from the morning, not able to work since I have had to explain my situation to your deaf, callous customer care executives just around 20 times to 20 different people. And when I ask “Why Is the Flight delayed? ” ..I get the very smart-ass answer “Due to Unavoidable reasons, Madam”. Oh Really? Unavoidable? Now what unavoidable reason could you guys actually have 8 times out of 10? And how is it that all the other flights seem to have “avoided” that reason? If that wasnt enough, because of a “system error” , I actually OWE air deccan money. I mean, that is funny. You delay my flight by “only” 8 hours, You piss me off constantly by NOT having any flight that can reach when I want to and then I OWE YOU money.I would have laughed, If only I wasnt so frigging frustrated.In all fairness, its YOU who owe me money, for the 20 phone calls I made, for the million times I was put on hold only to hear Phil Collins music(which , frankly has begun to sound very very irritating to me now) and might have caused irreparable aversion to “Another Day In Paradise”, for all those chocolates that I had to eat to forcibly calm myself down and refrain from screaming and scaring my colleagues, for the people I disturbed and CRIBBED for hours together about Deccan, for the emotional Trauma I am going through now….I could actually come up with more reasons…

I agree you give the best fares in town ( Most of the time atleast), but would a little more reliablity actually hurt YOU? I know for a fact many of my friends who have “sworn” off Air deccan.Don’t you think in the long term, people wouldnt mind paying those extra 200 Rs if it meant, they will reach their destination on time? I am sure all other airlines delay their flights too, but I think its ONLY deccan which knows their flights will be delayed even 2 days before departure..Very Advanced Technology there, Capt Gopinath.I would suggest, you start tying up with other airlines in these “rare” occasions, where your flights are delayed like this.Or if they disagree due to your well, wonderful reputation, then Go down on your knees and BEG them, because you ARE or rather should be accountable for the hassles your passengers undergo..Lasht but not the least, May I put a question to you? Do You ever fly on Air Deccan? Or If you do, You should inform interested passengers like me.You never know that Might be the day when it snows in Bangalore and the flight takes off on time ??

With obviously my best regards

A delighted Air Deccan Passenger

ps : Anyone knows this Dude’s email address? Please help me out here..